Like taking candy from a baby.

Who takes candy from a baby? And isn’t the point that it’s easy?

Well, yesterday I had the illustrious honor of attending a SHAB meeting. SHAB is Charlottesville’s School Health Advisory Board. And they were tackling my favorite topic: sugar. Actually, the honor was short-lived, as the school’s head dietician requested me out of my seat because she didn’t want to be filmed.

But I wasn’t the only busy-body present. The school administration appointed another board member, my friend the dietician joined the board and so did the head of the Obesity Task Force – and the Vice Superintendant of City Schools sat in, as well. Yessiree, your tax dollars at work.

Tonight’s controversy: can you limit sugars to 30%? I know, it sounds impossible. The Administration promised to limit school food (well 80% of school food) to 30% sugar by calories. Now, you may say that 1/3 of your diet being sugar is kinda crazy anyway. But I like crazy. Hell, I’m Koo-Koo for Cocoa Puffs.

Answer: no. Maybe next year. After they make a “database.” Heck, they have an entire snack bar to tabulate. To be fair, it’s a weird standard because carrots are about half sugar, calorically-speaking. And plain, old skim milk is nearly 60% sugar by the same metric (remember that the less fat in milk, the more sugar it has).

And chocolate milk … don’t even go there. Really. Because the kids will “revolt.” That was a big concern voiced by some at the table. Les Miserables meets Swiss Miss. To the barricades! I have to wonder, who’s the adult here? Or, more importantly, who’s the parent? Hey kids, summer vacation is over.

But that’s too tough love. The school’s opinion is that you should educate kids (and their parents) first, before you take away their Yoohoo. So, you teach them that chocolate milk is bad for them … while feeding them chocolate milk. Yep, Koo-Koo for Cocoa Puffs.

Like taking candy from a baby? Not even close. They won’t discuss it again until November. And then it goes back to the School Board. If we were in Candy Land, this issue would be stuck in Molasses Swamp. And you-know-who would be Queen Frostine. Well, I’d rather be playing Uncle Wiggly anyway.

About SugarDaddyMovie

Primary Instigator :: Amoeba Films
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